21 June 2007

Another update

I think I have said a few times the stress of lots of things has been getting to me. It seems most of the friends/family I am close to are either ill, sick or very sick, physically or mentally. I know it can't do much about it for anyone.

There are some I'm trying to help, and will keep doing so, until they tell not to. I just have to figure out how to do it best.

But the angst is burning into me.

I love all of them, and would feel diminished without them.

I'm not really a social person, never have been, but I am learning how to be better at it.

Living in one's own head has it's benefits, but you can only go so far before you get wondering where else you can go.

Sleep has been a problem as well, insomnia either getting to sleep, or going back to sleep after a few hours. Strange dreams as well, Freudian, not my usual Jungian stuff. It's not stuff I would share with just anyone, it's rather personal.

I have been examining my mental states all my life, and my subconscious has been doing something odd...it's like it's detaching or moving from my friends as if it's getting ready for something. So that's a worry for me as well.

I work on the NLP theory, were we are made of small self contained mental processess, sometimes in harmony, mostly in conflict.

It's strange, I can really feel activity in different parts of my head, and that when I wonder whats going on. Then these strange ideas or obsessions start.

Occasionally some brilliant idea comes out if it. But it's not that common :-)

Thinking is getting harder, my imagination and creativity seems to have suffered, it's been like thinking through mush...it started after I went head first into a car a few years ago.

Time to do a few more mental exercises...I have been going to the gym, at least that is getting me somewhere. Weight is coming off, and feeling a much fitter.

I've much more to work on, so much to do. Time to clear out the mush.

3 comments:

jo said...

Of all the different physchological disciplines, cognitive behavioral therapy seemed to make the most sense to me. If you haven't looked into it read a summary and see if you think it would be grounding.
Meaningless geek comfort: I had a friend who went through a series of bad times and was convinced he was cursed. I explained number theory to him and how a truly random function does not evenly disperse its results. A truly random function will have lots of clumps and gaps. In life you don't notice the gaps, just the clumps. That explanation helped him. But I think you have to be pretty geeky to find solace there. :-)

jo said...

Of all the different physchological disciplines, cognitive behavioral therapy seemed to make the most sense to me. If you haven't looked into it read a summary and see if you think it would be grounding.
Meaningless geek comfort: I had a friend who went through a series of bad times and was convinced he was cursed. I explained number theory to him and how a truly random function does not evenly disperse its results. A truly random function will have lots of clumps and gaps. In life you don't notice the gaps, just the clumps. That explanation helped him. But I think you have to be pretty geeky to find solace there. :-)

Shockwave Plasma said...

Thanks for that Jo.

In my case it quite simple, I'm usually quite solitary, but recently have been meeting more people via Sl, and making contact with people from years ago.

I have few family, so lets say I didn't have lots of lifes ups and downs when I was young.

My main complaint was that life was dull. I pretty much sit underneath the Bell curve.

Just that in the last year. Boom.. C'est la Vie